um i'm gonna go shoot myself in the face now..... totally kidding -_- but i feel like getting hit just to get some kind of reality check. it's too fucking cold and i can't concentrate. i keep procrastinating and i have a paper due by 12AM. call me a fcking saint for setting my pride aside for this time and having a heart to tell you. i'm gonna go starve myself now because i hate myself, hah! i want to take those zumba classes. i want to lose a gazillion pounds. fuck you birth control pills. no, i'm still to blame. i am going to shoot myself if i don't get a response. i had a lovely talk today at panera. i am stuck in a fcking rut. i don't know what to do. i really need to start this paper and get my homework done. i'm tired of always being tired and trying to fall asleep but ending up falling asleep at 3AM. i miss people. i hope nothing changes. i miss having a decent cashflow. i need to go shopping. i need to go run. i want to throw up. i wish my running buddies still lived up the block so i could run with them. this weather needs to go somewhere. i hate the rain. i want the 70s please. i don't what i'm exactly doing for my 18th birthday. i'm craving sushi. i hate boys. i hate girls. i hate not feeling healthy. i wish i could join a gym. i complain too much. i am being a "victim" rather than a "creator". i like my ucc 101 class surprisingly. it's way too fcking cold in my house. Lord, please help me. i hate this. i will get over this. i am sorry for my emo and annoying posts.
on a brighter note. i had a great talk with one of my closest friends. every time i have one these good ol talks, it reminds me how blessed i am to have these people in my life. seriously, i don't know where i'd be in life without my friends. i must stay positive when shit gets tough. live life. stop thinking too much. be happy you're alive. i know you'll never see this but thank you so much. you always know how to put me back in place.
at the end of the day, we both know who matters. i must keep this in mind, always. and realize that you were the one who said this to me.
sigh.
on a brighter note. i had a great talk with one of my closest friends. every time i have one these good ol talks, it reminds me how blessed i am to have these people in my life. seriously, i don't know where i'd be in life without my friends. i must stay positive when shit gets tough. live life. stop thinking too much. be happy you're alive. i know you'll never see this but thank you so much. you always know how to put me back in place.
at the end of the day, we both know who matters. i must keep this in mind, always. and realize that you were the one who said this to me.
sigh.
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