Useless. Worthless. Confused... I don't even know where to start. I don't remember the last time I was THIS disappointed in myself. This just may be my first fuckin time. I was there when nobody else was and I'm still here through the bullshit. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me anymore.

09... probably the last time I remember knowing how I felt about things for sure. You were in my life, but you weren't exactly in my life. When I think about how much has changed, I look back at this picture from a couple of years ago and just slowly examine it. I had such a genuine smile on my face... fck man, I don't even know where I'm going with this post anymore so I'm just gonna end it here. I just hate change sometimes and I hate missing people. Goodnight.

All these pretty girls are getting front bangs making me look like total shit again, lmao. Fma.

I feel like this sick little evil quote is coming to haunt me from tumblr.... lmao. I can't believe how on point it is because everyone used to say the same sht to me. MEH.

If your ringtone for me is still Spending All My Time.... you're cray.

Being patient with my losing weight process. I'm just hoping by next year, I'll be on that good good shit. BYAHH. Thank the Lord for great motivation & determination.

I think people find me dumb for being in this kind of situation. I even find myself stupid. I still don't understand and I feel like I never will.

INCONSIDERATE UNNECESSARY SELFISH BITCHASSNESS.




Smh, don't even remember the last time I was disappointed because plans didn't go thru. Tonight will go down in my book. Fckin fcks.


Anyway.... I miss nba. Fml.

I hate not being pretty. I hate not being skinny. I hate not being good enough. Fuck, man.

A simple "Thank You" would have done justice. I am turned off by people's ungrateful-ness. Ugh.

Seriously, when the fuck am I ever going to get over this. Fcking pisses me off. Ya fcking fck.

I think I've come to realize that I don't really like to watch movies with you.

Slowly learning to accept things.

You no longer constantly take up the thoughts in my head. Thank You, Lord.

I really should stop wondering what it's like to fall / be in love. Sigh, one day, one day.

Forever my life is Yours. Thank You for such a good & refreshing weekend.

Realized a lot today. Took one look and knew it was nothing and I should no longer be worrying. Everything happens for a reason. Trust. I really need to keep this in the past now. Moving onto bigger & much better things because I deserve it. I deserve to be happy and so does everyone else.


I love You.

Remember when.........








#dontbesick. Still gotta remind myself time to time.

I'm so caught up in everything that I've been losing myself. This YLSS weekend couldn't come at a better time, seriously. I know it's going to help me. I need this. I've been off track for a while now & it's time to get back on my grind.

& I really can't believe it.. you've become one of those people .. those friends that you can't seem to hold up a conversation with long enough because we simply ran out of things to talk about. Maybe it's because of our recent falling out, but I hate that to be the excuse. Why am I frustrated about this nonsense. Why do I always have to care?! This is bs. I shouldn't be going through this. Why do you this. Why am I like this. Why does THIS always have to happen. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Seriously been hating myself OD lately. Ugh. I feel like I just don't do anything right. I need a sign. Anything. Back to drowning myself by studying for psychology.

Young, Wild, & Free - Wiz ft. Snoop.

Currently listening to it & it inspired me to be the bigger person.. as well as going to my tita's wake today. I'm suckin up my pride and making moves. We've got one life to live and when it's your time to go, you better have a life worth watching before your eyes. I can't be wasting time with petty shit when I could be making memories.

Rest In Paradise Tita Luz.

Woke up today feeling mad hurt. From what? My stupid, STUPID, stupid dream. Who the fck feels hurt from a dream?! I'm so weird, ugh. I found myself looking you up in my phone, typing how random it was that you were in my dream last night, but then ended up stopping myself, rereading it & deleting what I wrote. I really hate being like this because I know I'm so much better. I am better than this so what am I doing? Yeah I'm being sick. I don't know why it always ends up like this. I hate it, really extremely hate this actually, but nobody knows, nobody would know, & nobody is gonna know. I'm tired of it all especially stupid misunderstandings. I just don't get it. I wish I didn't care, but I do. I always do. I guess I really just miss you. I miss you a lot to be honest. Yeah, that's just it. I miss you.

I wish you just listened to me. All I really ever wanted...