it's a hairflip

i dont think i have had a really bangin' ass deep conversation in a while until today. holler. thank you God for putting these girls into my life. i think i really needed one too actually. i've been going through mad ups and downs with myself lately. our convo really got me thinking and if you know me im always thinking! usually thinking too much, which isn't such a good thing. hah. man, sometimes i wish i could truly be happy as i intend to be. i find it hard to keep a constant happiness within myself, especially with this kind of world we live in and the stupid things i overthink and analyze about. sigh* i feel like i need to do so much things differently in my life. i need to figure out what am i even doing with it in the first place. its a pain in the ass to try and find some meaning sometimes.

damaged - danity kane.

i am currently undergoing the biggest mood swings ever and it's annoying as hell and no it's not my period. maybe i'm just bipolar as hell. haha. there's still that one piece missing waiting to fill me but yet i still don't know what it is. im satisfied yet im not. i wish i could find the answers in a book.. life is like a damn roller coaster. true effin story..





*&! please keep kevin gongob in your prayers.

damn.

i love my life and it kinda sucks that it took me this long to really realize this. <3 I Love You Lord. Sorry that me, kan, & lauren aren't going to church today =x & what happened last night. haha. ThankYou for the people you have really put in my life.. <3

get it together.

They're Right. I think i may be holding something back. but i dont even know what. I don't know what im doing or what im even searching for. I'm tired of thinking too much and all these what ifs, what could have been, what should have been, or maybe if i didn't do this or acted like that. in need of soul searching and hiatus. i feel like im losing myself. I wish i could find somebody real to relate to. i'm finding myself making every possible mistake.