oOooh how I wish I wasn't so shy... and awkward.. haha.

On the other hand, 5 years down the road and I still remember my freshman Halloween hahahahaha. Awman, so young & naive. The easier days, lmao. The ugly, awkward days.. hahah eee. It's crazy where everyone has ended up. Glad to still be w/ the ones I call my girls since the get go.

&& moving along, I wish I was going to FIND, pooooop. But t'is okay.

&&& that reminds me next weekend makes it a year I felt bittersweet.. That night I was kinda upset because I knew that's where everything went wrong and things were changing, but at the same time I got something better and started cheesing like a dumb ass.

Muhahaha. And now I'm here. Awkward run-ins w/ you whenever I see you which is once in a blue moon.

K idk what I'm talking about, gonna go study now.

I am awkward around 'handsome / gwapo / take home to yo mama type' boys... MEH.

On to the next one, onto the nexttt onee ;)

Yay, Michelle always does a survey when I'm in the mood to do one, lol.

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed please! I get creeped out when it's open cus I think of Saw, lol

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Sometimes.

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in!

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Nah, lol. That reminds me of the episode from As Told By Ginger!

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yesss. I like cute colored ones too.

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Yes.. haha

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Uh. Neither.

8: Do you have freckles?
Why actually yes I do.

9: Do you always smile for pictures?
Yep usually. Unless I'm doing a stupid face.

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
Hm... one of them is when people chew w/ their mouth open. Not cute, booboo.

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Once in a while I find myself doing that.

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?
Mm, nope don't recall.

13: What about pooped in the woods?
Nah, haha.

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Yeaah, lmao.

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Nah, I find that quite gross.

16: How many people have you slept with this week?
Psh, no one.

17: What size is your bed?
Full! Love ma bed, haha

18: What is your Song of the week?
Hmm, good question! Usually I have one every week but this week I've been listening to the whole Two Door Cinema Club album.

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
If they can rock it.

20: Do you still watch cartoons?
Eh not really.

21: Whats your least favorite movie?
Uh. Don't have a least favorite?

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
In my closet, jk. Um... Idk. Yeah, I suck lol

23: What do you drink with dinner?
Water.

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don't really eat chicken nuggets so.. haha

25: What is your favorite food?
Sushi, omgah!

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Mean Girls, The Parent Trap, & Step Brothers to name a few :)

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Um, I'm not sure.. but it was either the kid from FIND last november or the kid from the night of Justin's bday... lmao

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope.

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
No thank you.

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Omg! Probably high school :( lol I miss that.

31: Can you change the oil on a car?
Nahhh.

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope!

33: Ever ran out of gas?
Nope but I've been on E plenty of times.

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?
Turkey or roast beef or subway's chicken teriyaki! Yum.

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Oatmeal? Cereal? Nutella y bread? They all good, lol.

36: What is your usual bedtime?
Varies all the time but I'm trying to fix it because getting no sleep leads to obesity!

37: Are you lazy?
At times but I try not to be.

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I always was a cheerleader. Once I was Jasmine! Oh another time I was like a beauty pageant girl, lmao.

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Monkey!

40: How many languages can you speak?
- Two. English and Bitch. <<< Hahahah word! I'd add in sarcasm for me too. & a little of Bisaya, haha

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not anymore :(

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos!

43: Are you stubborn?
Definitely, lol.

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Uh, Idk.

45: Ever watch soap operas?
Nah.

46: Are you afraid of heights?
Eh, not really.

47: Do you sing in the car?
Yep!

48: Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes.

49: Do you dance in the car?
Probably just bounce to the beat, lmao.

50: Ever used a gun?
BB gun! I def wanna go to a shoot range some day.

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Don't remember! Probably senior pics?

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Nah. They can be sometimes, lol

53: Is Christmas stressful?
Yeah but it's worth it. Love the holiday season!

54: Ever eat a pierogi?
I've heard of that but I'm not quite sure what that is.

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
Eh don't really like fruit pie.

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Teacher, pro tennis player, & physical therapist, lol

57: Do you believe in ghosts?
Eh.

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yess.

59: Take a vitamin daily?
Nah.

60: Wear slippers?
Yeup.

61: Wear a bath robe?
I need one!

62: What do you wear to bed?
Bahay clothes.

63: First concert?
Free GMA Jonas Brothers concert `:D

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target!

65: Nike or Adidas?
Nike.

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?
- I love those bbq fritos. << Word!

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts.

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
I feel like I have... or maybe I'm just thinking I did, lol

69: Ever take dance lessons?
Yeup.

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Never imagined that, lol

71: Can you curl your tongue?
Yessir

72: Ever won a spelling bee?
Almost, omg!

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yess, haha

74: Own any record albums?
Nah.

75: Own a record player?
Don't think so?

76: Regularly burn incense?
Nope.

77: Ever been in love?
Nopeee.

78: Who would you like to see in concert?
Shooot. JCole, Adele, John Legend, Kanye, JayZ. The list can go on & on but I'll stop there.

79: What was the last concert you saw?
Should've been that Power Live concert UGHH. But the last one was Slum Village!

80: Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot, please.

81: Tea or coffee?
Green tea & french vanilla coffee.

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Snickerdoodles omgzzz!

83: Can you swim well?
I believe so.

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yeup.

85: Are you patient?
Usually.

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?
Hm, prob a DJ.

87: Ever won a contest?
Yeup.

88: Ever have plastic surgery?
No thanks.

89: Which are better black or green olives?
Chopped black ones on pizza, lol

90: Can you knit or crochet?
Nah. I can sew tho! Haha

91: Best room for a fireplace?
Living room, duhh.

92: Do you want to get married?
Definitely

93: If married, how long have you been married?
aldkjfaljd

94: Who was your HS crush?
Wow. No one. How sad, lmao.

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Nope.

96: Do you have kids?
Yes. Jk noo.

97: Do you want kids?
Yepppp.

98: Whats your favorite color?
I'm feeling navy blue, lol.

99: Do you miss anyone right now?
Always.

"*Sigh* This is nice."

$#(*&!ASLKDJL. Sometimes I wish I could just go up to you & hug you, lmao.

BRB, just a tad bit sick because that popped into my head. I wish cute stuff still happened to me. How does my dad have someone & I don't...... There's something wrong with that picture. My brother & I in this family.. forever alone!

Damn, I will never forget the night at Rutgers I just so happened to run into you walking at the Busch campus. It's been 4+ years maybe since I saw you til that night last year. Talk about fckin coincidence. Miss you a lot, old friend. I really do hope I cross paths with you again.

I'M SO SURE. & here goes the cycle. Dis shit cray.

Head up. Chin up. Stay Positive. What is meant to be will find its way. This is the journey God wants you to be. Work hard. It'll all pay off in the long run. Give yourself me time. Don't block out the world entirely. Keep faith. Keep praying. NOTE TO SELF. It has to get better, I know it can. It will all get better.

Thanks Michelle, as usual `=P

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- My daddy better mean it! Hah

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
- I'm 18 soo yeah, I wouldn't mind.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
- Uh. Hm. Yesterday? Kinda, lol

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
- Of course why not.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
- Not talking to anyone.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
- Hmm, yes actually.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
- Sweats & a vneck.

8. How often do you listen to music?
- All day, err day. Can't get enough of it.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
- Neither. Leggings, stockings & pants! Woowoo

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?
- I feel like it has.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
- I'm usually social.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
- Mm, nope. Don't believe so.

13. What about ‘R’?
- Lmfao.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?
- No! Definitely learning from my brother some time soon tho.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
- Fuckem bcus they most likely don't even know the truth.

16. Are you going out of town soon?
- Eh. Not anywhere far / special lol

17. When was the last time you cried?
- Sunday.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
- Of course.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
- A lighter brown would be pretty.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
- Brothers & pops / fam.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
- Work was puhretty boring, lol.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- Yess, WEH.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
- Nope. What's dating!

24. What are you sitting on right now?
- Ma comfy bed.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
- Friends, sometimes haha.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
- Ehhh, not really.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
- I don't think anyone. My nights are so lonely nowadays.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?
- Nah.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
- Target.

30. Does anyone hate you?
- I don't think I give anyone reasons to hate me but if they do, whateva.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
- Not anymore. The last one wasn't even hidden, hah.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?
- When I'm with a group of friends.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
- I used to but I'm over that phase.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
- 05. UGH. Fuck you 7th grade.

35. Did you have a dream last night?
- Yeah!

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
- I don't remember.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
- Doubt it.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
- No ssirrr.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- Nope. Maybe my dad since he's freaking on the other side of the world right now.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
- Going out to dinner w/ good company really made it better.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
- NooOope.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
- Gonna be working w/ some of my fave coworkers, woowoo.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
- Yeup.

44. What’s the best part about school?
- I guess chilling w/ friends.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
- Quite a lot.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
- Aw I miss that.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
- All. the. time.

48. Were you single over the last summer?
- UH.. Yeah .. lmao wut.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
- Definitely not.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
- Studying should be good for me.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
- Nope.

52. Are you nice to everyone?
- Most of the time, unless you give me a reason not to be.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
- Story of my first & only bf, lmao.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
- Most def.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- Yeup. A good friend recently told me I'm good at hiding shit actually. *bows*

56. Do you think you like someone?
- Nope. Boys are icky.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
- Why technically yes, lmao.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
- I guess I'm equally cool w/ both & they both equally annoy me, lmao.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
- Yeup.

60. Do you hate anyone?
- Nope.

61. How’s your heart?
- In good condition.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
- Eh, not really.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
- Nah.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
- I don't know and I don't care. Eat poop, hoe.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?
- Mm, no, haha.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
- Uh, I hope not.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
- Um, that's kinda weird if you love that.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
- No, lol.

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
- Ron.

70. How do you look right now?
- Bummayy.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
- Of course.

72. Can you commit to one person?
- Yep.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
- Somewhat everything.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?
- Many times.

75. Did you wake up cranky?
- Nope.

76. Are you a jealous person?
- Not often.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?
- Of course they are.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
- Nah.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
- I miss my dad.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
- Go to Espanol clase.

81. Last person you cried in front of?
- Brother.

82. Is there someone you will never forget?
- Many people.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
- No feelingsss.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
- Making sweet love. LMAO jk. I don't even know who I want to be with right now.

85. Are you over your past?
- Past is da past. I actually like to laugh about it.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
- Uhhhhh. Nuh.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
- Mostly everything & yes.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
- Don't even have one of those, lol.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
- Sure why not.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
- Nope.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
- Probably not, lol

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
- Chyeah.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
- Don't believe so..

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
- Noooope.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
- Yeah because it was nobody.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
- Sure, he ain't bad.

97. Who do you have texts from?
- Usually Lauren, Ed, & Jess O.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
- I don't like anyonee.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
- Yessir.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
- Lauren bo fauren.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
- Nope.

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
- Yeah. Aw, miss that. lol

Hey Mom, I miss you. Wish you were still here because I know I wouldn't be crying these tears and life wouldn't be as complicated as it has been ever since you left. Visit in my dreams soon. I love you. I miss you. Always.

I don't know why, but I guess this is how it has to be to keep this friendship going.



Miss you.

deeleeeteeee. ew.

Even though it's nothing serious at all, I have come to a conclusion that I don't know how to act around you. Aha. `=X




I still wonder when the day I finally like someone comes around. I don't remember at all how it feels like. Sad life.