"some of life's best lessons are learned at the worst times." - ani difranco

nothing more, nothing less..

my negggga c mothafkcin' francisco! now realllllly, who the fkc would've thought you'd be the one to help me set closure to this silly situation i am in. even though you will never see this, thanks a millli for helping me out. things seriously do happen for a reason and i can seriously never stop telling myself that. i'm really thankful that i got the chance to catch up with him even if it was just for 10/15 minutes cos it helped me realize what i've been trying/wanting to realize for a while now. i've been so confused & complained over and over again to myself bcos i really don't know how to deal with my situation. God has such funny ways of sending us signs & help. <3


forNevers! about you now - miranda cosgrove is playing.. hahah. anywho's, i told myself from the get go that i could never let it happen. sometimes when you've built and created a new relationship with someone, you gotta let it reach its peak & no matter how much you'd want it to move on to the next level.. you can only leave it there. nothing more, nothing less. just gotta leave it that.. & unfortunately i guess it'll hurt.

everybody knows - john legend <3

i tell myself everyday that everything happens for a reason & that there's a reason behind every single thing that happens.. - deaths, gained friendships, rekindled friendships, drifting away from people, the boy you're talking to now, why a relationship ended, why these people came into your life now and not before, why people left and never came back, wanted change, inevitable change, why we're hurting, why we're crying, why we feel this way, how it's him, why we don't tell certain people, why we're not good at certain things.. so on & so forth. but i guess the obvious question is why it happens.. or why is it these people. i don't know.. maybe we'll never know. it's almost 2AM & i'm sitting here still on my laptop thinking about all this nonsense. i've gotten to gain friendships with people i least expected to. "expect the unexpected" .. yeah true story. things happen & we don't know why.. but there has to be an explanation somewhere out there. right? maybeeee

so i went to barnes & nobles today (technically yesterday) and picked out that Living, Loving, & Learning book i've been wanting to scoop up. i didn't end up buying it but i still skimmed through it before i put it back.. i left a secret on a piece of paper in it too. what a relief to write that down, even if it wasn't anything major at all. i hope someone finds it, that'd be cool. haha. everytime i go to b&n i'm gonna leave tiny notes like that in a book. maybe someone could relate to it. wow, why the hell am i still up.

i guess i don't seem to know how to stop myself from getting into things. & when i think i am, i crawl right back.. to you.. probably cos i know you're always going to be there. val's right.. we do tend to always fall for the assholes. i wonder when this will all fall out. i need to stop sleeping at this time. toodlezz

goodbye to you - michelle branch

i'm so fucking dumb. i can't believe i have placed myself in this situation like seriouslyyyyy. it makes me want to punch your freaking face even more. but seriously.. who asks someone that & expects for someone to not think there is no meaning behind it! omg i really feel like i hate you but i know i don't have the guts to. you make me want to cry but i've been such a fkcing rock lately that i can't even shed a tear. i never even think before i say shit either. i am so dumb =(

.. love to hate ya & hate to love ya. i really wish i could get on with the fkcing get go & leave you behind.

nothing lasts forever - maroon 5

true story. officially deaddd, i could feel it. expect the unexpected. i could pretend none of this happened, maybe.. or maybe in a week it'll change. maybe shmaybe. boys have cooties. chocolate covered strawberry's and cream puffs<33. i could list all the so many things i find wrong about you and just a few for what i do like.. & the what i like about you side still beats your neggy's. you suck & make me mad!

now who would've thought

life's feelin like a million bucks & bags of gold. happy february! the weather has been putting me in the most bangin-est moods ever. + good talks with people you'd least expect to have one with makes me happy too..


& i realized this isn't gonna be a repeat of 06, so congrats to me cos that'd be a huge waste of time. i'm just gonna go with the flow & not take any bs. holla.

<333333333 one step at a fkcin time. we changin lives babyy