It's been a couple of months now and I still find myself lying in bed in complete silence with a mind full of wild thoughts wondering why did this have to happen this way. It definitely hasn't been easy to accept the fact that things have really changed and it will never be the same, but I've gotten better. The constant what if's still linger through my mind, but I can't do anything about it. I'm not going to let myself act like things didn't happen and shit is back to normal because it's not. I'm putting my foot down this time and I'm not letting shit get in my way. I'm done trying to front. I'm done trying to impress. I'm done going that extra mile. I'm done letting your shit get to me. I'm done trying to find the right words to say to you so I don't look stupid. I'm done trying to live up to your expectations. YO FUCK THAT. I'm just done with that kind of petty shit. I know I'm better than that type of shit. It's my turn nigga. I'm not going to say I don't care or that I don't give a fck because I will always care and I still find you to be someone significant in my life. Through all the mothafuckin bullshit you have put me through these past years, I STILL stick around for the sake of a fckin friendship cus you told me you needed me. But you best believe it's so much different that how it used to be. I'm not that same girl from last summer or the chick 2 months ago. I'm seriously doing fckin me this time, no joke. You said your apologies and I was quick to forgive, but that does not mean everything is back to normal. You claim you've been trying hard to change but all I do is push you away.... Well what do you expect. It's not easy. Until that something strikes me... it'll have to be like this. I don't know what it'll be or when it will happen but you best believe you need to keep trying to prove to me that this friendship is worth sticking around for any longer. I know I had my share of fuck ups,but damn homie, you fucked up.

And I still can't believe this shit. Good to know that I'm better, moving forward, moving along and moving on. I know God is helping me get through this. & Unless I let you know what's good then you have no idea. People need to fall back and stick their nose back on their faces where it belongs.