everybody knows - john legend <3

i tell myself everyday that everything happens for a reason & that there's a reason behind every single thing that happens.. - deaths, gained friendships, rekindled friendships, drifting away from people, the boy you're talking to now, why a relationship ended, why these people came into your life now and not before, why people left and never came back, wanted change, inevitable change, why we're hurting, why we're crying, why we feel this way, how it's him, why we don't tell certain people, why we're not good at certain things.. so on & so forth. but i guess the obvious question is why it happens.. or why is it these people. i don't know.. maybe we'll never know. it's almost 2AM & i'm sitting here still on my laptop thinking about all this nonsense. i've gotten to gain friendships with people i least expected to. "expect the unexpected" .. yeah true story. things happen & we don't know why.. but there has to be an explanation somewhere out there. right? maybeeee

so i went to barnes & nobles today (technically yesterday) and picked out that Living, Loving, & Learning book i've been wanting to scoop up. i didn't end up buying it but i still skimmed through it before i put it back.. i left a secret on a piece of paper in it too. what a relief to write that down, even if it wasn't anything major at all. i hope someone finds it, that'd be cool. haha. everytime i go to b&n i'm gonna leave tiny notes like that in a book. maybe someone could relate to it. wow, why the hell am i still up.

i guess i don't seem to know how to stop myself from getting into things. & when i think i am, i crawl right back.. to you.. probably cos i know you're always going to be there. val's right.. we do tend to always fall for the assholes. i wonder when this will all fall out. i need to stop sleeping at this time. toodlezz